At the shop, we pretty much get inundated with questions all day. Some, like…Where are the bathrooms?…Can I get a fishing license?…and Where do I find the float trips?, are more reasonable than others, but occasionally we get ones that just blow you away and it is all you can do to keep from laughing. We keep a book of the ‘best of’ quotes’ and you have to know the area to understand some of them. But here are some of the doozies that aren’t so regional. Remember, this is a mountaineering shop!
- Customer: Mom…look at all these survival items.Mom: You’ll need a lot of that at the hotel son.
- Customer: Do people really climb that mountain? Cuz I have good binoculars and I didn’t see anyone.
- Customer: What are these? Employee: They are pants sir.
- Customer: So the buffalo…they’re Bison (pronounced Bee-son)?
- Customer: See Lloyd…It could be worst! (While pointing at tent)
- Customer: Do you guys have those hats with a brim that keeps the sun off like a baseball cap, but with a hole in the top? Employee: Uhhh…a visor?
- Customer: I think our hiking guidebook lied! It says that the hike to Hidden Falls is an easy hike.
- Customer: Do you have placemats?
- Customer: Does the dike in Mount Moran hold the glacier up?
- Customer: Are those axes good for killing bears? Employee: Yes, but you need another one for snowboarders.
- Customer: Do you have brown or green rain jackets…so the bears can’t see me?
- Customer: Do you rent mini-bikes?
- Customer: I saw a bear while I was fishing. He had a collar on…so he was a pet bear….right?
- Customer: How far is Jackson from Jackson Hole?
- Customer: Do you have used CamelBaks?
- Customer: Do you have any hikes around here that are legit?
- Customer: At what altitude do moose turn into elk?
- Customer: I don’t need bear spray…I’m from Boulder!
- Customer: Do you rent long underwear?
- Customer: Why can’t you use cams for sport climbing?
- Customer: Is the dike in the Middle man-made?
- Customer: They don’t let bear in the camping areas do they?
- Customer: Can you see the Grand Teton from here?
- Customer: Where’s the bathroom…is it a normal one?
- Customer: Where’s the closest place to get worms? Employee: Mother Earth.
Hahaha, wow those are some spectacular questions… I especially like the one about the ice axes…
Wow…
Hay I am from boulder, most of us use axes on the bears.
tourist: “What is the white stuff on the mountains?”
me: “That’s snow.”
tourist to child: “It’s not really snow son, he’s just pulling your leg.”
Tourist: How do I get to ……
Resident: Go down this road and turn right at the cattle guard.
Tourist: What kind of uniform is the cattle guard wearing?
If it’s called Tourist Season…..
…….why can’t we shoot them?
Haha! That was me with the ice axe/snowboarder one (actually a quote from TM when I worked there!) Another good one that we got when I worked in Alaska was “Do the barrels of oil make a lot of noise when they go down the Alaska Pipeline?”
he…he…he!!!
Now back to studying AK! 😀
Reminded me of when I worked at a ski area and was in the front office to hear a couple doozies…
“I have a season pass at another mountain, can I ski here for free?”
and the best…
“Can we have a refund? There is too much snow.”
Another classic was: “Does this backpack match my pants?” (this was the same lady who wanted the green or brown raincoat so the bears wouldn’t see her.) Then she asked me how to put the backpack on… as I stared at her in disbelief, she proceeded to put her legs through the straps.
Oh… and it snowed here last night, Steve.
Oh, and don’t forget this one….
Guy: “Do you have North Face?”
Employee: “what are you looking for?”
Guy: “Ultimate gear to hike in the tetons all summer”
Thanks AK…the list goes on…and on…and on…
Do you think i will need goggles out there? (been snowing for 6 days solid and we were unable to see outside of the shop window for streams of fresh pouring from the sky)
It says in the brochure that i catch the lift from here, where is it – im not walking (closest lift station to ski shop is 20m up the road) – carry my skis then you little technician (im 6’7″!)
Ive done a bit of abseiling and want to buy some clips and things to do it myself, is it difficult?
No waaay, look at all these keyring clips (standing in front of a wall of krabs) do those things float to stop your keys sinking in water? (points to selection of Nuts)
Retail, youve gotta love it
i ski and board wanna kill me with that ax you closed minded cretin!!!!!!!
Only if you bootpack in my skin track! 😉